This Sunday, I will celebrate my last day of freedom before classes begin by watching playoff football. Sadly, my beloved Patriots will not be playing. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy watching the games. In particular, I’m looking forward to the Vikings-Saints game, featuring the legendary Brett Favre. As you may have heard the football announcers mention once or twice, 41- year-old Favre has basically been a god among men this season. Seriously, check out his statistics: 4000+ yards, 30+ touchdowns, the highest completion percentage of his career, and the fewest interceptions, by far. It’s no stretch to say that Favre is having the best season of his career.
I cannot emphasize enough how sure I am that Favre has achieved this remarkable feat by purely NATURAL means, COMPLETELY UNAIDED by any sort of “performance-enhancing” substance. That is not to suggest that Favre’s historic season can be explained merely as the result of better teammates, playing all his home games in a dome, or a desire to show the Packers that they were wrong to let him walk. No, chalk this one up to genetics. Favre is the greatest athlete since Barry Bonds, the “late bloomer” who put on forty pounds of naturally occurring muscle in his late thirties. Favre, too, has undoubtedly reached peak physical condition at age 41. All it took was a relaxing summer trucking around the ol’ Missouri dirt farm, interspersed with the occasional workout, and boom! Nature took its course. If there’s one thing I’ve learned following sports over the past few years, it’s to be completely unsuspicious of middle-age professional athletes having historic seasons.
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